Pervs, the Lot of Them!
by shufen2
Summary: The Naruto girls discuss the guys. Oneshot. Rating because of the conversation's nature. I suck at summaries.


**Oookay… this is based off real conversations I've had with my friends… Yeah, we were bored. **

**Update 7/9/07--I have re-written it without the OCs, because they didn't add anything to the story (as was pointed out to me). **

**Update 7/16/07—Thanks to ** **Kit**** turned Mighty for pointing out the fact that some mentions of the OCs had escaped me.******

**Boring disclaimer because I'm too lazy to come up with something clever:**** I do not own Naruto or any of its characters; I am not making any money off of this, and any resemblance to any people, living or dead, is (probably) coincidental.**

**The setup:**** The Konoha ninja (plus the sand siblings) are at some sort of a camp… this takes place before Sasuke gets all ::censored:: and leaves Konoha. The girls have these card things that have discussion topics written on them.**

* * *

There was giggling coming from the girls' dorm. It was night time. At sleep away camp. _Co-ed_ sleep away camp. (Stop thinking like that, you sicko.) In the building there was carpet and there were several bunk beds. The girls were sitting on the floor; among these girls was Sakura, Tenten, Temari, Ino, and Hinata.

More giggling. "Oh, this is fun! Let's try another card!" cried Temari. "Okay: are there any ninja we know who are _not_ perverts/peeping toms/whatever?"

"No," was Tenten's response. The other girls stared.

"Wh-what about… um… Or-Orochimaru?" asked Hinata.

"Are you kidding me? He was chasing Sasuke for, like, ever!" laughed Tenten. Ino and Sakura lunged for the girl.

"Not like _that_!" protested Sakura.

"He 'wanted his beautiful body'" retorted Tenten. The girls laughed while Hinata and Temari attempted to calm down the Sasuke-freaks.

"Okay… what about… Shikamaru?" asked Temari, getting into the spirit of the game.

"He shouldn't count, he's not an adult, yet," injected Ino.

"He'll be a stalker when he gets older," Tenten answered confidently. Ino gaped at her.

"What makes you think th-" the blond began.

"Neji's not a pervert," Tenten said.

Ino snickered, "What do you think he uses his byakugan for?" she asked. "I mean, he's a guy. And a teen. His byakugan can see through walls and clothes."

"I notice he seems to look in the direction of your house a lot." Sakura said to Tenten. Tenten turned red. Very red.

The girls laughed, and then they fell into a contemplative silence.

"Gai's not one!" Sakura announced triumphantly.

"…" Temari replied.

"…" Tenten seconded.

"Okay… but he's the exception," sighed Temari

"Naruto's a perv," Ino said, shooting a 'look' at Sakura.

"Duh! He's training under Jariya!" Temari retorted.

"Heh heh. Jariya. 'I'm not a pervert! I'm a super pervert!'" Ino laughed.

"Konohamaru!" shouted Tenten, out of the blue.

"Huh?" asked Hinata and Sakura.

"What? When?" demanded Ino.

"When he ran into Tsunade!" **(1)**

"oh, yeah…"

"_And_ his idol is Naruto."

"Heh heh." the girls (minus Hinata, who was blushing at the floor) snickered.

::pause::

"Well, maybe not Shino…" Ino admitted.

"He's not grown up yet," Sakura pointed out.

"Remember what he did in the Chuunin exam? With his bugs and the way he sent one peeking? That doesn't apply to _just_ peeking at test answers." Tenten said, raising her eyebrows.

"Shino would never let on. Kiba wouldn't even bother to hide it." Sakura said, rolling her eyes.

"Konohamaru's friend, probably not," mused Ino.

"He'll just be a geek," put in Sakura.

"Well, he's still pretty young," Temari pointed out.

"Okay, so that makes four- no, five guys who aren't," said Sakura.

"Yet," murmured Tenten. No one heard this, because just then Hinata asked "Five?"

"Yep," said Sakura, counting the people off on her fingers, "Choji (because he's too nice), Lee (for the same reason), Konohamaru's friend (well, he's still little), Asuma, and Gai."

"Hm, what about that Kabuto guy?" asked Temari.

"Well, we don't know about him very much…" Sakura replied.

::pause::

"Wh-what about the Third?" asked Hinata.

"Well… Tsunade told me about a time when the Third was teaching them and Jariya was tied to the pole and the Third was teasing him or something… and Jariya said something about never being caught when he goes peeping… and the Third leaned forward and said something like 'take me next time if you're so good.'" There was a moment of silence, then giggling.

"Third?" asked Tenten. "_Really?_"

"Yup."

"Wow…"

pause

"Who haven't we done? ..."

pause

"Ooh! Kakashi!"

"Well, he is, case closed."

"Yeah, he reads those books…"

"Hm." _Well,_ thought Temari, _that guy was a dud… hmm…_

"I would ask about that Uchiha kid," started Temari, "But Ino and Sakura might kill me."

"He is," murmured Tenten, "Like, he can't spend _all_ his time angst-ing." Sakura and Ino sent the girl a glare that Gaara would have been proud of.

"What about your brother?" someone asked Temari.

"Kankuro, no joke, he's got porn magazines hidden in his closet."

"Not _him_, Gaara," Tenten piped up.

"Erm." To be honest, Temari had no idea about Gaara. "Well-"

"Well, let's think about this," Ino said, "He's got to have something to do all night, since he doesn't sleep…" She fell silent as they all entertained the thought.

"What's that at the window?" asked Hinata, startling everyone. The girls turned…

There was nothing there.

"Geez, Hinata, you scared me!" Ino laughed nervously.

"Yeah… let's go to sleep." Sakura suggested. They all agreed and got into bed and fell asleep.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the roof…

The (male) ninja from Konoha (and the two sand brothers) were clinging to the overhang of the roof, above the open window.

"Naruto, you idiot, how could you let your forehead protector just _drop_ like that? You scared away the girls." Kiba hissed.

"It was an accident, open pervert!" Naruto retorted.

* * *

**(1) in eppie 99, Konohamaru was running up the stairs and ran into Tsunade at… chest height… and as he was clinging limpet-like to her breasts he said "…these smell nice…"**

… **and Tsunade called him a perverted little boy.**

**Again, the ending's weak… I suck at endings. **

**Review!**


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